I’ve talked a lot about the depression, the ceaseless days and nights spent in overwhelming darkness and despair. That’s because, for me, depression has been a near constant companion over the past 13 years. I’ve broken out from time to time, but generally speaking, depression has literally shadowed me. Episodes of “normality” (whatever that is) and occasional periods of hypomania have let me know, fortunately, that I can go into a period of remission. And, I believe that’s where I am now. Thank goodness!
But what of this hypomania of which I speak? What is it? Well, for people with bipolar II, hypomania is…generally…a period of elevated mood. It’s not as extreme as it is for those with bipolar l, but it is usually a happy, energized time. A period where the world is charming, we’re charming, and life is grand and wonderful. Generally. I’ll get to the conditions in a bit.
I’ve mentioned before how I had these periods of being down, usually just physically, followed by periods of euphoria. That euphoria is something to be craved. It’s like the best kiss ever, the most exciting carnival ride, the most fun time even during mundane tasks. It’s the energy to work all day, put together a decent meal, play games with the family after dinner, and follow it up with an amazing romantic episode with your significant other. All that and more. Smiling the whole time. Conversation comes more easily, witty remarks flow from your lips, creativity is at its max, we love more deeply, and the desire to do something…anything, really…is strong.
All of this comes at a price. Sometimes that price is literal. Mania and hypomania are noted for spending sprees, often with money that’s borrowed. Credit card debt is not uncommon, at all. Later, during periods of relative sanity, someone with bipolar disorder will look at the purchases and wonder, “Why?” I know I have. Anxiety can be enhanced during mania and hypomania, as well. During hypomanic spells, angry outbursts may be common.
However, we don’t remember this. Or at least some of us don’t. We remember how good we felt, perhaps because of how nice it was to not be depressed! And the hell of mood stabilizers is that while they are intended to prevent those deep, dark periods, they also tend to prevent the up side. I mean, what’s the fun of having bipolar disorder if you can’t have a little hypomanic spell once in a while? (wink, wink)
This is a very brief, very generic outline of hypomania. Ask two people how they experience it and you’ll get some similarities, but there will also be differences.
Then there are mixed episodes. Oh, boy. What fun (she says in her most sarcastic voice). I’ll get to that in another post, along with discussing a plethora of other mood disorders. Did you know it’s estimated that 25% of the population have or will experience a mood disorder at some point in his/her life? Hopefully I’m passing along some information you see as valuable. And, as always, if you have any questions, please pass them along.